The Reel Life: Laziness is not a crime

«Back in my day, they’d throw ya in the clink for bein’ a lousy bum!»

That quote is not real, but it must have been what was going through a 72-year-old Ohio man’s mind when he reportedly called the police on his 17-year-old grandson for being lazy.

The man told police that his grandson, whom he has custody of, is lazy and «does nothing around the house.» According to the report, he asked his grandson to help with chores, but the boy continued to play on the computer, so the old man cut the Internet cable cord. Following that brilliant decision, the grandson reportedly became enraged and punched a hole in the kitchen wall and left the house to scurry into the woods.

This is one of the best «get off my lawn!» moments in Internet history. There are just too many senior citizen fails in this story for it to fall through the cracks. The Reel Life will not allow that to happen.

Note to old people everywhere: The police cannot force your lazy grandchildren to do chores. This is not Soviet Russia. The best you can hope for is that they waste taxpayer resources to come to your house and send a message. Because there’s literally nothing better for them to do.

(Actually, in Ohio, there might not be.)

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